Erin Rocchio: Executive and Team Coach

Thrive. Lead. Impact.

The Importance of One+ Communities

When it comes to my coaching, each experience is unique and together we cover all sorts of different themes and topics. However, there is one particular conversation I have with almost all business leaders and it evolves around one specific question.

What makes us who we are and what tells us our lives have value?

So many of us feel plagued with self-doubt and worry, or at the very least, questions that we’re on the “right” path or if we’re devoting our energy to a worthy cause.

I see a lot of folks place their self-worth in the hands of those who don’t appreciate, understand, or know how to hold that tremendous responsibility. Some believe they’re worthy only when they produce results, please their boss/clients/teammates, look good, or make sure their kids thrive in school.

What if I told you that your real value and worth lie somewhere much deeper? Somewhere more sacred, more intrinsic, and something only you ultimately determine?

The people we surround ourselves with day in and day out may have the greatest impact on our beliefs about where our value comes from. Think family, work colleagues, friends, neighbors. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking my work is my measuring stick. When that happens to be going well, life feels unstoppable. When it’s not, well, you can guess how that goes…

Enter the idea I’ll call the “One+ Community”

I’ve come to believe that we all need at least ONE COMMUNITY in our lives that gives us an empowering space to fully be ourselves, unguarded, real, even messy. These One+ Communities help us discover talents we didn’t know existed, build genuine and deep friendships, and explore new ways that we can make a positive difference for others. They help us get outside of ourselves and live for something bigger.

A few years ago, I was blessed to join such a community with Heart of Leadership. As one of the original Core Team members, I got to learn what it really meant to build a values-based organization. We learned together what it meant to advance a critical social conversation and to create a safe, nurturing space for talented young women and their families to live a healthy and whole life.

This One+ Community still fills me with tremendous pride and fulfillment. Many of those women are deeply important friends in my life. The conversations and possibilities that were sparked years ago live on.

My biggest personal lesson from this One+ Community is this:

The creative, sensitive, heart-based, wisdom-seeking side of myself is okay to show others. In fact, it just may be my greatest contribution. If I never took this leap of faith and said “yes” to this community, I know I’d be living as only half of myself. Afraid, disconnected, burned out, and trying to act like it was all okay.

Friends, if you are so lucky as to have more than one One+ community in your life, that is just incredible. Hence the name, “One+.” If you’re struggling to think of even one, that’s a perfect place to start. In my experience, these special and nourishing communities aren’t just handed to us. We have to seek them out and create them. And, you only need one!

Here are some places to begin looking:

  • Service organizations that are grounded in your core values, require you to commit yourself fully and offer opportunities for real relationship building.
  • Personal development programs that extend over time
  • Healthy spiritual or religious communities that help connect you to what you hold sacred, within yourself and in communion with others.
  • Affinity groups that let you dive into a passion, hobby, or something totally and uniquely your kind of fun!

This time of year can remind us how important our connections are, either because we feel nourished by them or we feel longing for more. Wherever you are, my ask of you is this:

If you feel that longing for a One+ Community in your life, take the steps to seek one out. Let yourself be seen. Experiment and keep showing up. If you feel a bit scared and vulnerable, you’re probably doing something right.

I’d love to hear about your One+ Communities and offer any support I can as you create/find them.

Many blessings to you and all the relationships that help you thrive,
Erin

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How To Find Meaning In Your Work – Even When It Feels Hard

For many of us, especially those in service-based businesses such as healthcare, consulting, fundraising and the like, we thrive on providing value for others. We live to serve and see our work as an opportunity to make a difference. We care deeply. And we give all of ourselves.

Sometimes, though, in the humdrum and trappings of modern work, we can lose sight of how our work connects to something bigger. The pressure of organizational structure weighs heavy, we focus on the non-essential and never-ending to-do’s and get crushed by the scope of it all.

When we lose connection with what gives us meaning, we are infinitely more apt to flame out and throw our hands up in despair.

Especially when we care. Especially when we work our asses off.

And when desperation hits, we become emotionally exhausted, our cynicism peaks, and our job performance declines. Cue the downward burnout cycle.

For some lines of work, like those who practice medicine, considerable research has been done to help address this chronic, systemic problem. For physicians in particular (one of the most demanding jobs in modern society, in my humble opinion), research shows that when they are able to carve out 20% of their role for work they find personally fulfilling, such as a research project that contributes to an issue they feel passionately about, they are significantly less likely to experience the effects of burnout. Even when working 100 plus hours a week and experiencing chronic sleep deprivation, finding work that’s meaningful makes that big of a difference. If meaning matters that much for them, there’s got to be value in it for the rest of us, too.

So, how do you and I go about finding meaning in our jobs? Here’s a start.

1. Step Back

Gain some perspective on how your work fits into the broader whole, how you contribute to something beyond pushing papers and answering emails.

2. Ask Yourself

How does my work make a positive difference for those I work with and those I serve? What’s my impact on my community or society as a whole, even indirectly?

3. Find Patterns

Explore ways in which your positive impact reflects what matters most to you – your values – and demonstrates what your ultimate calling, or purpose, might be.

4. Connect and Share

When we share about what lights our heart up and how we get to experience a piece of that magic in our work, the positive emotion amplifies. We appreciate ourselves more. We see our colleagues in a softer, more graceful light. Our passion and care creates more passion and caring for those around us. Research says so.

Connecting back to our work’s meaning is one practice we must never abandon if we are committed to thriving, not surviving. I encourage you to find some time this week to recall why you do what you do, what meaning it inspires in you, and breathe in fully appreciating that you do matter and your work is valued.

I promise it will be worth it.

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Erin Rocchio

Wholeness at Work