Erin Rocchio: Executive and Team Coach

Thrive. Lead. Impact.

Three Questions That Will Help You Prevent Burnout

Maybe it’s the dreamy quality of early summer in San Diego that makes this season feel so naturally reflective. Or, we’re so pulled by all the activities, options, and potential paths that we are called to slow down and relax into what’s most meaningful for us. Either way, I’m compelled to do a little navel-gazing this time of year, so let’s dive in together…

You’ve heard me say before that sustaining your leadership performance over the long haul – and fully achieving your potential – requires equal attention to both the context in which you’re leading (external/how) and the content of your work (inner/why).

Burnout prevention and recovery must include this inner and outer alignment. The question is, how do you find it?

One of the things I love most about a personality typing system like the Enneagram is that it helps us quickly identify the inner content of our lives so we can get ourselves unstuck and truly thrive. It highlights elements that we’re often blind to, like our core drives, passions, needs, fears, and automatic patterns or habits.

I’ve learned that even while we might be working inside of a “burnout culture,” it’s often the internal mental and emotional patterns that keep us hooked into ways of working that will exhaust us, regardless of how ideal our job is set up to be.

Let’s take a look. For each of us, we are run by two primary inner patterns or habits: a thought pattern and an emotional pattern. In the language of the Enneagram, the thought habits include the continuous loop of ideas and fixations in our minds, while the emotional habits typically follow those thoughts with persistent reactions or feelings.

For me (as a Type 3), I can unconsciously fixate on thoughts about strategies for success and ways of creating an image of being successful (ugh, I know). This is often immediately followed by an emotional roller coaster of striving and anxiety, fear that others will think I’m a failure, and sadness/shame when I don’t feel I measure up.

You can see how quickly folks like me can spiral into a mode of hyper-pressure, workaholism, constant scanning for acknowledgment, and ultimately, burnout and resentment. Yikes, I’m tired just thinking about it!

The point is not to change these patterns, because often that is simply unavailable to us. Instead, we start by noticing them, trying to understand them, and doing our best to meet ourselves with a dose of compassion.

When we can stop, pause, and look inside ourselves, we’re able to see when our stress is generated from our own thoughts and feelings versus external factors. That awareness can give us new access into positive solutions – moving from being run by our automatic habits of personality to intentionally choosing the thoughts, emotions, and actions that are more sustainable for us.

So, as you lie on your beach towel this summer and sleepily gaze up at the clouds above, ask yourself:

  • What thoughts and emotions tend to loop habitually in my mind and heart?
  • How might these patterns be contributing to my state of burnout/wellbeing?
  • And, what helps me “unhook” from these mental and emotional habits and move into conscious choice?

I would love to hear from you, so please share what you’re learning with our growing community on LinkedIn or Twitter. There are so many of you incredible people committed to working, leading, and giving in sustainable ways. Let yourself be inspired by one another!

Today and all year long, may these reflections serve your leadership path and offer you some new freedom along the way.

To your thriving,

Erin

PS. This is the Type 3 habit, but all personality types have their own unique thought and emotional patterns. Curious about yours? Click here to understand your Enneagram type or reach out to me for some individual guidance on how awareness of your Enneagram can support your growth.

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The Healthiest Way Each Enneagram Type Can Respond to Stress

Stress gets a bad rap these days. However, recent studies have shown that it can actually be a helpful source of performance motivation (if we believe it is). Every business leader, entrepreneur, and all-around badass I know feels some element of stress every single day.

As you take on big goals, feelings of performance pressure and risk increase. Naturally.

The game shouldn’t be about not feeling any stress, but rather about managing the stress we do feel so that it can fuel us. Stress can also inform us about what we care about most, where our boundaries are, and the directions in which we authentically want to go.

From the Enneagram, we can see that there are nine distinct – healthy – ways of responding to stress. Here are some tidbits on each:

Enneagram One’s

There’s often a thought about doing things “right” or “perfect” that sends One’s into hyper-production mode. You may feel ultra-critical of yourself and others. Identify that pesky thought or belief that won’t let up on you. Examine it. See how you can gently let it go. Soften.

Enneagram Two’s

Everyone struggles and their pain is not yours. Reflect on the people and issues that mean the most to you, offer your generosity there, and lovingly step back from the rest. Hold your boundary with respect and grace.

Enneagram Three’s

Notice the insatiable energy to add value, be seen, do something fabulous, and/or prove your worth. Put your hand on your heart. Feel the insatiability of that drive and see if you can find a moment to pump the breaks. To feed your heart. I promise, taking a break and directing some loving kindness towards yourself won’t ruin your momentum. On the contrary.

Enneagram Four’s

Find some time alone to reflect, recharge, acknowledge your deepest feelings, and nurture your creative heart. Being around others in superficial ways can zap you quickly. Honor your needs for deep connection and solitude. Find a trusted friend you can confide in to help you feel emotionally balanced. Also, seek out structures to support you in moving forward on your highest priority tasks.

Enneagram Five’s

Put your feet on the ground. Feel your body in this moment. Observe your inner voice and the fear it generates about not knowing enough and what’s scarce. See if you can find some space between that fear-monger and locate a single focus for exploring and engaging. Practice expressing your genuine feelings.

Enneagram Sixes

Take a slow, deep breath. Anchor yourself in your chair, feet on the ground, back supported. Connect with your inner knowing and intuition. Find the place in yourself you trust. Listen for the wisdom inside you. When the wheels spin, go within.

Enneagram Seven’s

Often, there’s a quick onramp from positive visioning and hyper-spin out. Notice where you are right now. Get back into your body and into the present moment. Quiet the noise and ask the question, “What matters most in this moment right now?” Find relief in focus, even if just for a minute.

Enneagram Eight’s

Step back, even step outside. Find a way of physically getting your energy out that is productive for you and others. Honor your big feelings. Write them down. Now, where can you soften? Put your hands on your gut and heart. What do they tell you about where to move next?

Enneagram Nine’s

Take a moment alone and check in with yourself. Scan your body for tension. What are your instincts telling you about what you need? Find one action you can take that will support you in moving forward and out of “stuckness.” Grab a buddy to help you stay accountable to yourself.

If you don’t know your Enneagram type and want to learn more, let’s chat! There are ample ways I can support you in diving into this relevant, sacred, and valuable personality system.

May the gods of presence and wellbeing be with you, fellow warrior.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

To your thriving,
Erin

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The Three Enneagram Types Most Prone To Burnout

Burnout is one of those things that sneaks up on most people. In fact, many people suffering from burnout don’t even realize it’s something they’re battling until it causes noticeably drastic havoc in their life.

For this reason, one of the first steps to resolving issues of burnout includes gaining self-awareness about your personality type. Even if you’re not facing the burnout cliff, this awareness is a vital lever in accelerating any leadership journey.

Using the Enneagram framework, I’ve honed in on three personality types especially vulnerable to the symptoms of burnout: emotional exhaustion, cynicism/withdrawal, and decreased effectiveness. These types include: the Achiever, the Enthusiast, and the Helper.

The Achiever (3)
Perpetually feeling responsible for getting stuff done and adding value to others, these folks are prone to overworking both at work and at home. They neglect their physical well being, maintain a continual state of stress, and have difficulty sticking to their priorities. On top of it all, they tell themselves they must look like they have it all together. Oh, the pressure!

The Enthusiast (7)
These folks revel in all of the future possibilities they want to pursue and they do so with abandon. Focus becomes a challenge, making clear thinking and deliberate action a real stretch. Their path to freedom involves connecting with the needs of the present moment, yet they avoid sitting still in the discomfort of the here and now. At the end of the day, these adventurers can be distracted, mentally tangled, and stretched thin.

The Helper (2)
Ever generous with their time and resources, these kind souls can become so focused on the needs of others that they forget their own (emotional, physical, or otherwise). They embody selflessness, and yet, their breaking points are dramatic. They look to others to fill their cup with appreciation and it often feels not enough, creating both rage and sadness that drain them deeply.

Keep in mind that EVERY personality type struggles to maintain equilibrium in different ways, so you may feel burned out and not identify with a type mentioned here. All of us can experience burnout in our own ways when the circumstances are right.

For this reason, I encourage you to simply notice where you feel stretched. What pulls at you? What voice tells you to do more, be more? How does your inner “gremlin” apply pressure on you, and how do you instinctively respond?

If you’d like to dive deeper, I’d encourage you to take my burnout self assessment. It’s only 15 questions and will provide your unique burnout score, which will help you understand what steps your should currently be taking to either avoid or come back from burnout.

However you assess your current level of burnout, my hope is that you can enjoy any moments of quiet space that find you, take a deep breath in reflection about what matters most, and dance with self-compassion in the chaos of all the rest.

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Enneagram: A Practical Path to Wisdom

“I don’t know if I can ever trust him again,” Lisa tells me during an extended coaching session recently, speaking about her tenuous relationship with her supervisor. “He yells and demands we hit our targets at any cost, even at the risk of losing relationships. I just don’t feel safe, like he won’t have my back anymore. That is really scary.”

Lisa, a regional operations leader for a public organization, began our coaching engagement with one goal: to learn what makes her guarded, defensive, and closed off at work. Most especially, she wanted to understand (and change) the negative impact this was having on the relationship with her military-trained C-level boss.

She also knew she had issues trusting her colleagues in the workplace and she saw how much it was holding her back. She missed out on close relationships, she wasn’t getting the results she wanted because others couldn’t connect or collaborate with her. She didn’t know what to do and she was stuck in her own fear.

How many of us can relate?

But, this begged the questions: Where did Lisa’s fear come from? And, why did her fear, which felt so personal and deep-seated, show up so prominently at work?

In executive coaching, we shy away from diving into an individual’s personal or childhood traumas, as this work should be explored with a clinical psychologist or therapist*. However, it is imperative that coaches skillfully address the unconscious patterns, beliefs, and contexts that shape a leader and drive his/her behavior – especially when it seems out of place or inappropriate to circumstance.

In my own growth and maturation process, I’ve spent thousands of dollars, decades, and abundant sweat and tears navigating experiential learning programs and various tools to help me understand myself. A handful of these experiences very seriously changed my life. Yet, as each layer of the onion peeled away, there I was –with the same underlying anxieties, hopes, needs, and fears. I couldn’t shake myself.

What I really needed was one, comprehensive system for making sense of all that was going on under the surface, and subsequently showing up in my behavior at work.

Enter the Enneagram… the queen of all personality systems.

The Enneagram is a robust personality typing system that traces back to ancient times, yet was scientifically validated in the early 2000s as a reliable personality indicator. The word enneagram comes from the Greek words ennea (“nine”) and gram (“something written or drawn”) and refers to the nine points on the Enneagram symbol. The nine different Enneagram types, identified as numbers One through Nine, reflect distinct habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving, with each type connected to a unique path of development. Each of us has only one place, or number, on the Enneagram. (I am a Type 3, with a 2 Wing, in case you’re curious.)

Out of all the tools, the leadership development experiences, or team development exercises I’ve ever seen, [envoke_twitter_link]the Enneagram continues to provide the most meaningful, holistic, and long-lasting wisdom for every business leader I work with.[/envoke_twitter_link]

Let’s revisit Lisa. In our coaching work together, Lisa discovered that her personality type, Enneagram Type Six, is anchored in loyalty: Sixes have a core need for security and a core fear of being unable to survive without support. This creates emotional and thought patterns devoted to seeking certainty and security, often through ultra responsible activities and worst-case scenario planning.

As Lisa discovered how these patterns of needs and fears played out in her work relationships, she realized two things: (1) it was safe and okay to look her fear in the eyes and examine where it was productive/unproductive, and (2) maybe her colleagues weren’t out to get her after all.

While our Enneagram type (or hardwiring) never leaves us, as we grow more aware of how deeply it directs our lives, we begin to experience some freedom from its grips. We get to choose how we respond to life’s circumstances instead of our instinctual reactions choosing for us.

In Lisa’s case, she began to feel more comfortable reaching out for genuine connections, building trust with her peers, and most importantly, having courageous conversations with her boss to feel empowered and aligned in her leadership role. She even invited him over to her home for a family dinner and they spent time getting to know one another – as parents, friends, siblings, children of aging parents. She told me later she gained tremendous appreciation for him based on this experience, specifically his approach to parenting and prioritizing his family.

This shit works.

I know because after reconnecting with various clients over the years, they tell me they are still using the Enneagram to develop themselves, or with their spouses to improve their marriages, or with their teams to build healthy team cultures.

In my own experience, the Enneagram has left me with this:

  • Immense compassion for myself and others (versus judgment)
  • Connection with anyone on the planet (underneath it all, we’re vastly diverse and yet remarkably the same)
  • Energy and vitality where there was once stagnation

Today, I use the Enneagram with every leader I coach and every team I develop. I’ve built organizational cultures using the language and insights from this system. If you know the Enneagram would benefit you, your team, or your business (like I do), let’s have a conversation to explore how.

*Also, a great therapist or teacher is a must for anyone looking to “wake up,” in my humble opinion. Not even the best of us made it out of childhood unscathed (sorry). For personal recommendations on therapists, please email me: erin@erinrocchio.com.

Image: © 2016 The Enneagram In Business

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